I Still Want To Feel Like Me

Three years after a single mastectomy, one woman reflects on the hidden struggle of finding bras that fit her body, her prosthesis, and her sense of self.

What I notice most now is how much smaller the world of bras has become.

Before my mastectomy, I already struggled to find bras that fit properly. I’m a 42GG, which isn’t exactly the size most high street shops seem to cater for. Finding something supportive was hard enough- and finding something that was pretty was even more difficult. Most of the time, it felt like I had to choose between comfort and feeling feminine.

Then, three years ago, I had a mastectomy.

Women often talk about the surgery itself, or even the recovery afterwards, but no one seems to mention the everyday reality that comes later.

The small, repeated reminders that your body has changed. For me, one of the biggest reminders has been getting dressed each morning.

Post-surgery bras are usually designed with practicality in mind, which I understand. But practicality can very quickly become clinical. A lot of the bras are plain, beige, thick-strapped, and honestly, they make me feel older than I already am. There’s this assumption that once you reach a certain age, or once you’ve had surgery,  you stop wanting to feel attractive.

But I still want to feel like me.

My biggest struggle is balance. Because I’ve only had one breast removed, every bra has to work for two completely different sides of my body. One cup needs to fit my natural breast, while the other has to hold a prosthesis securely enough that it doesn’t shift or sit awkwardly. Most bras don’t seem designed for that reality.

And then there’s the prosthesis itself.

The one I was given from the hospital feels too small for my frame and my other breast, so even when I’m dressed, I often feel weirdly uneven. 

Clothes hang differently. 

Necklines sit strangely. 

Sometimes I catch my reflection and immediately notice that something looks “off,” even if nobody else would.

It chips away at your confidence in ways many people would never expect.

What frustrates me most is that the conversation around post-surgery bras seems to stop at function. As long as it covers you and holds the prosthesis in place, it’s considered good enough- but nobody wants to feel like they’re wearing a medical appliance every single day.

I don’t think wanting lace, colour, or a bra that simply makes you feel nice should be considered vain. I mean, after something as life-changing as cancer and surgery, those things matter even more. Sometimes feeling like yourself again starts with something as small as putting on underwear that doesn’t make you feel invisible.

At 67, I’m grateful to still be here. But surviving something doesn’t mean you stop wanting dignity, comfort, confidence, or choice.

And I think more women are struggling with that quietly than people realise.